In Bangkok But Can’t Find Taco Bell?

Fast food in Thailand?

A friend of mine went on his first trip to Thailand and begged me to find him a Taco Bell in Bangkok (guess he got his three basic food groups there on a daily basis back in the states.)

We’ve been talking here a bit about the difference between going to the Philippines and or going to Thailand and I think this is a big one and it’s not really about fast food but more about American cultural influences.  And I’m not saying it’s good or bad just pointing it out.

When you go to the Philippines you will find just about every American fast food chain there is and some you didn’t even know about.  Think that is due to the large American military presence after WWII.  When I go to the Philippines I look forward to getting some of the food that I can’t find here in Thailand, like Taco Bell or Cinnabons, I love those things.  But at times there is so much American cultural and food influence in the PI at times I feel like I’m in a really, I mean really, dirty, America.

Thai fastf ood
This is Thai fast food

Not so much in Thailand, yes there are American fast food chains here but not in the saturation that you find in the Philippines.  In Bangkok you will find a few, and in the main

tourist areas, like Phuket or Pattaya, but the further away you get from these areas the less likely your going to see any American or “western” fast food places.  And you won’t find them set up on their own, just in shopping centers like a tesco.  The selection is also very limited in Thailand, other than Bangkok, there are McDonalds, KFC and Pizza hut at most

shopping malls (Think they’re all owned by the same guy), but seriously that’s about it.

So I had to tell my Friend, sorry there are no Taco Bells in Thailand, but is that a bad thing?  Come to Thailand for the sense of being in a far off exotic new place, being a traveler and going on an adventure, for the beautiful and amazing women but not for the double meat and bean burrito with extra cheese.

 

Quick Travel Tips for Thailand

Sexy Asian WomanQuick Travel Tips for Thailand

Living in Thailand for years now has made me aware of one thing, Thailand is one of the safest places for tourist to go in the world.  No joke, no hype, Thailand is a totally mellow place to hang, but……. as with any country there are things you should watch out for.

1.  Don’t drink the tap water, always drink bottled water.  If your in a restaurant and ask for water 9 out of 10 times they will bring you bottled water, if they don’t, ask for it.  Drinking the water includes ice cubes, ask for cold water, “nam yen” and avoid the ice cubes.

2.  Show respect for the royal family, the Thai’s hold the royal family in high esteem and to show disrespect is a criminal offense and they do prosecute.  Doesn’t matter if you understand it, condone it or anything else, their country their culture their rules.

3.  Drugs are not cool here, they have zero tolerance for dealers or users.  If you get caught with drugs in Thailand your fucked, period.

4.  Careful with the bar honey you just bought out.  A big percentage of the scams and ripoffs have to do with our cuties from the bars.  Come here and have fun, party and get laid but don’t be fooled the bargirl is working and she will empty you in more ways then one given half the chance.  As I always say just be smart, pay attention to your surroundings and if your alone don’t get sloppy drunk.

5.  This one is from experience as I lived in Phuket.  If you see the sea reseeding, the water disappearing, run, go to higher ground.

Famous Soapy Full Body Massage

Full body massage ladies
full body massage

Soapy Full Body Massage

Massage in Thailand is a very old and honored tradition with schools teaching traditional methods, we’re not going to be talking about those types of massage.  I’m going to talk about one of most erotic experiences of my life, I’m going to talk about the “full body soapy massage”.  And I’m not kidding when I say one of the most erotic, maybe even number one, it was that good.  Lets start at the beginning.

Most of the places where you find this service are not geared for tourist but for local Thai men.  Most are tucked away out of the high traffic areas and offer a short-time service.  You don’t take the ladies away but the rooms are right there at the complex, these places are normally rather large almost like a hotel.

When you enter the complex there will be ladies of all ages behind a glass wall wearing numbers, you pick a lady and off you go upstairs to the room.  The rooms are pretty lavish, these are no backpacker dives, they normally have a large tub and tiled bathing area (this is where the magic happens) a large bed, TV and a mini bar.  The one that I have gone to a few times even has room service if you want something to eat or just a beer.  Just remember that you pay by the hour and it starts as soon as you get into the room so if you take time to eat, drink and chat up the lady it will eat into the massage time.

Immediately upon entering the room the lady will start filling the bath with warm water and add soap to make a bubble bath.  Then she will put down an inflated mattress in the tiled bath area right next to the bathtub.  After you had disrobed and taken a shower she will pour some of the bubble bath onto the mattress and ask you to lay down.  She will then pour more soupy water on you and start to lather you up, contentiously pouring the warm soupy water on you.  At some point she will get on top of you and start sliding her entire body over yours.  That is the amazing part, its surreal, its like having your entire body in a vagina!  And if you hadn’t already she will finish you off on the bed as a happy ending is part of the price.

Ok so remember most of these places are not on the tourist route and are mostly tucked away so you will have to look for them.  You can ask your tuk tuk or moto taxi driver and they might know.  But in most cases they will just take you to a normal massage parlor so you have to be clear in what you want.  I know that they have a few of these places in Bangkok but never been to them.  I have been to one in Phuket called “Christin’s Massage” it’s in Patong, Phuket.

Phuket Christin Massage 206 Rat-U-Thit Road
+66-76-340-369

So if your ever in Phuket you have to check this out or if you run across one of these places on your travels, do it, at just once, it will be a mind blowing experience.

 

Poipet – worst boarder crossing ever

Poipet worst boarder crossing ever

poipet_border_dep

Poipet has to be the worst experience I’ve had doing a land crossing in Thailand bar none.  There were so many things that were unpleasant about crossing here I don’t even know where to start.  From the Thai side to the Cambodian immigration seems like a mile, don’t know if its really that far but its a ways.  Then when you get there there is only one or two windows open, you que up outside, there is no AC, might not seem like a big deal but in the heat of a SE Asian summer it will be miserable.  When I went I waited in line for over an hour in 100 degree heat, I was soaked with sweat from head to toe.  I’ve heard of people waiting for three hours in this line I can’t even imagine that.  Oh and while your inline a guy will come up and say he can get your visa for you (VIP Visa, there is no such thing, might be tempted but are you really willing to hand your passport over to a crook?) for an extra 20$ under the table.  It almost seems like it is all set up to make you pay the extra 20$ cause it is just such a miserable experience.

Coming back to Thailand is fine, once you’ve walked the mile back to the Thai immigration office, at least it was inside with AC.  The whole place just seemed like one big scam pit, from the distance you had to walk, which by the way is where the casinos are.  maybe that’s the reason for the distance, since its the only place the casinos can be built, the further the distance the more or bigger casinos can be built?  The place was just bad, unpleasant, scams, touts, crooks, casinos, dirt, heat it just sucked.

Oh one major scam I want to warn you guys about is;

–Touts will harass you and tell you that you have to get a visa prior to going to Cambodia, NOT TRUE, you can walk yourself and your passport to the Cambodian side of the border and get a tourist visa for 20$ US.–

I normally use the Chong Jum / O smach crossing, it is a dream compared to Poipet, no touts, no scams and takes no more then 20 minuets even on busy days.  I will never go back to Poipet and will use Chong Jum from here on out.  One more time, Poipet worst boarder crossing ever.